You met the Plumber through an online dating website and he pretty much swept you off your feet right from day one. He's tall, remarkably handsome, hardworking and goal oriented, and he actually likes you. Alot. But you can't help but feel guilty whenever you're with him.
You want your family with him to work. If you ever believed in soul mates then your Love, your Light, your Bliss has got to be it for you. You both share this bond that is unlike anything you've experienced with anyone else before. You know each other inside and out. You know exactly what makes each other tick, which was both your strong point and your downfall. You could raise each other up when times were good or tear each other down when times were tough. Your greatest asset as a couple was also your greatest weakness.
Sometimes he was your greatest friend and sometimes he was your worst enemy. At times he gave you the greatest love you've ever felt, yet one time he left you bruised and crying on the floor when you found someone else's g-string in your laundry basket. You don't even remember exactly how you ended up that way. All that you remember is that you came home late after working on your birthday, searched through the laundry basket for something to wear to bed and came across and extra large pink g-string that certainly didn't belong to you. You stormed into the bedroom where he was sleeping and threw the g-string in his face. The rest is a blur. You imagine that you probably hit him and were screaming at him, but he woke up unscathed. You woke up sore and bruised and completely broken inside.
That recent night that he went on a drunken rampage and was yelling at you and mother seemed like the first step in the cycle towards ending up bruised again, and as much as it tears at your heart, you have to be the one to end the cycle. You couldn't allow him to get too close again for fear that you'll end you'll end up bruised and broken again.
You pray that therapy will heal him and take away all of his pent up anger and anguish. You pray that he learns how to communicate his feelings in a healthy way and that he'll stop drinking. You pray that he can and will change. Only then can you two have the healthy, happy, head-over-heels relationship that you so desperately want for your family.
For now, you'll keep seeing your new guy, the Plumber, because he treats you like gold and has been nothing but supportive and kind to you, even when you dumped him to get back with your Love, your Light, your Bliss. He understood and wouldn't begrudge another man of his second chance. And when it didn't work out with your Love, your Light your Bliss, the Plumber welcomed you back with open arms.
You're really starting to have feelings for the Plumber and it scares you, because you don't want to fall out of love with your Love, your Light, your Bliss. You wonder if it's possible to love two people at the time same time. You don't think so, because if you do someone, if not all of you, are getting short changed.
Only time will tell what will happen with your Love, your Light, your Bliss and the Plumber. You hope that your Love, your Light, your Bliss will change, but you can't build your life around hoping that other people will change. You can only live in the now and deal with the present. And at present your Love, your Light, your Bliss still has the potential to be abusive and is so broken inside, and the Plumber is looking more and more beautiful to you with each passing day, which you know is how it first starts for you when you fall in love.
You'll pray for a change but for now you'll just try to take it moment by moment and hope that you develop some clarity.
Clarity: you don't even know if you would recognize it anymore.
Clarity- by Zedd
That recent night that he went on a drunken rampage and was yelling at you and mother seemed like the first step in the cycle towards ending up bruised again, and as much as it tears at your heart, you have to be the one to end the cycle. You couldn't allow him to get too close again for fear that you'll end you'll end up bruised and broken again.
You pray that therapy will heal him and take away all of his pent up anger and anguish. You pray that he learns how to communicate his feelings in a healthy way and that he'll stop drinking. You pray that he can and will change. Only then can you two have the healthy, happy, head-over-heels relationship that you so desperately want for your family.
For now, you'll keep seeing your new guy, the Plumber, because he treats you like gold and has been nothing but supportive and kind to you, even when you dumped him to get back with your Love, your Light, your Bliss. He understood and wouldn't begrudge another man of his second chance. And when it didn't work out with your Love, your Light your Bliss, the Plumber welcomed you back with open arms.
You're really starting to have feelings for the Plumber and it scares you, because you don't want to fall out of love with your Love, your Light, your Bliss. You wonder if it's possible to love two people at the time same time. You don't think so, because if you do someone, if not all of you, are getting short changed.
Only time will tell what will happen with your Love, your Light, your Bliss and the Plumber. You hope that your Love, your Light, your Bliss will change, but you can't build your life around hoping that other people will change. You can only live in the now and deal with the present. And at present your Love, your Light, your Bliss still has the potential to be abusive and is so broken inside, and the Plumber is looking more and more beautiful to you with each passing day, which you know is how it first starts for you when you fall in love.
You'll pray for a change but for now you'll just try to take it moment by moment and hope that you develop some clarity.
Clarity: you don't even know if you would recognize it anymore.
Clarity- by Zedd
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